One of my brothers has been after me for months now to write another blog. It has been some months. Oh say like 7 months since the last one. The reasoning behind not writing one, is because I just couldn't find something to write about. Until today.
Now, let me preface this for all of you. This will be very spiritual to ME. Not you. I don't ask that you agree or disagree with me, just honor my personal opinion and I will honor yours. Remember as you read this, my book is titled Meeting with God...The Journey Begins. :)
As many of you know, last year I decided to make a transformation. A friend of mine had planned on getting married in the temple and her family isn't able to attend. Initially I had planned on getting prepared so I could attend her momentous occasion. Apparently the Lord works in mysterious ways because they are going to be sealed in the temple THIS November. Ha Ha Ha on me, right?
I believe in Jesus Christ and in our Heavenly Father and I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latterday Saints. I believe that their hands were in this. I have been alcohol free now for tens months. I have been able to attend the temple sessions and become closer to my Heavenly Father. I have built better relationships with my family. I have become a better friend. I am more dependable and have more money! Yay!!
So blah, blah, blah, right? Well, I have had an opportunity to come in contact with a friend who I believe helped me and in his own way has encouraged me to become a better person. This person knows who he is and I appreciate his help in my process. Thank you! As I have been pondering some drastic changes that could potentially come into my life (I will share these when the time is right), I was lost. I prayed to my Father in Heaven and pleaded for an answer. I fasted and prayed. I attended the temple. I asked three specific questions. When the answer came back as "a peaceful feeling" I thought "okay I need to make these into statements". I said the statements and asked the Lord if he supported my decisions. The answer was "a peaceful feeling". At this point, I was frustrated and felt that the Lord won't even give me a straight answer. UGH!
Until today.
I woke up early with the intention of walking to church (it's only a few blocks). As I prepared myself, the day was nice. I walked into Relief Society and saw my visiting teaching companion. She was teaching the lesson in RS today and asked if I would be willing to read a quote. The lesson (as I took it) was on "being" and "doing". But she altered it a little and spoke about a talk the President Gordon B. Hinckley had given to the youth about the 6 "b's". They are be smart, be grateful, be clean, be true, be prayerful, and be humble. I was given be humble.
As I read the quote prior to reading it out loud in RS, tears filled my eyes. I was meant to have this scripture: "Be thou humble; and the Lord thy God shall lead thee by the hand, and give thee answer to thy prayers" (Doctrine and Covenants 112:10). He also said "I believe the meek and the humble are those who are teachable. They are willing to learn. They are willing to listen to the whisperings of the still, small voice for guidance in their lives. They place the wisdom of the Lord above their own wisdom." I was overwhelmed. I had become consumed with listening so intently, that I missed everything the Lord was trying to tell me. I was not listening for the still, small voice. The Lord has been trying to lead me by the hand to answer my prayers and I was not listening.
I asked the Bishop for a blessing (the second one this week-thank you Ronnie Sebreros for the first one :)). Those drastic changes are still a possibility. They are still looming over me as I start to listen to the Lord. Friends, you may have to help me stay grounded and not allow Satan to fill my mind full of doubt. He is trying hard to do this and I am letting him in every so often. He's providing me with a nice roller coaster ride! Ha Ha Ha. One that I don't want to be on! I guess what I am trying to say is help me remember that I am a ten. No matter if these changes don't end up happening, I am a better person for trying and knowing it didn't work than having not tried and never knowing. I don't want the most magnificent part of my life walking away because I was too scared to try.
I guess this is more of a journal entry than a chapter in a book, but this is MY book and I will fill the pages how I want to :)
